i'll be stuck fixated on one star
when the world is crashing down

i keep telling myself
i'm not the desperate type
but you've got me looking in through blinds

the only thing worse than not knowing
is you thinking that i don't know

i could stand here for hours
just to ask god the question, "is everyone here make-believe?"
with a tear in his voice, he says, "son, that's the question."
does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?

so let me think of how to word it
is it too soon to say 'perfect'?

and if you sing to me sweet until then
i may never sail virginia again
and as this current moves slow for me
this much you must know: we'll meet again

and the worst part is before it gets any better
we're headed for a cliff
and in the freefall, i will realize i'm better off
when i hit the bottom

i'm watching everyone i looked up to breaking, bending
or taking shortcuts and false solutions
just to come out the hero

i'm a raw nerve in the sunlight
after two weeks in the dark

cigarette butts on the headstones
that you left for me

it must get obvious enough that i'm not ever gonna change
it must get obvious enough, i'm the one who stays
it must get lonely

you firefly, you tiny boat, with oars
feather oars
the world tilts back and pours and pours

and in the choir
i saw our sad messiah
he was bored and tired of my laments
said, "i died for you one time, but never again"

well, i love you so much
but do me a favor, baby, don't reply
'cause i can dish it out
but i can't take it

it's a shame i don't think that they'll notice
it's a shame i doubt they even care
no one is to know about this

but whatever i have been getting myself into lately
has been slicing inches from my waist
it's my face vs. the bottle (and thank god you weren't there)

we were taught so much better than this
this is what living like this does

where you are seems to be
as far as an eternity
outstretched arms, open hearts
and if it never ends then when do we start?

pushing forward and arching back
bring me closer to heart attack

how does it feel to know you never have to be alone?
when you get home
there must be someplace here that only you and i could go
so i can show you how i feel

and i'd whisper that i love you
as you fall out of your clothes

you let me hold you tightly
as we said all our goodbyes

may i say i loved you more?

let's drink to the memories that we shared
down one to all the hopes and cares
here's to for being unaware that you're gone
because before too long, you'll be a memory

the closest thing we had to royalty
a chance to break our parents' patterns
we chose to keep our teenage tragedy
in lieu of their romantic palette

play tender like a newborn baby would
play tender 'til the night is over
i'm leaving you to nurse your cherished wounds
and care for it just like your lover, yeah

if home is where the heart is
then we're all just fucked
i can't remember

and i want it so bad
i'd shoot the sunshine into my veins

my mind is a safe
and if i keep it then we all get rich
my body is an orphanage
me take everyone in

i've got a lot of friends who are stars
but some are just black holes

remember it's just you and me
don't sell out, bow out
remember how this used to be

grant my last request
and just let me hold you
don't shrug your shoulders

sure, i can accept that we're going nowhere
but one last time, let's go there
lay down beside me

we swam a sea of pretty sights and chandelier skies
i swore i could feel you breathe
it was all so real to me

the light, it slipped through the window
the morning ripped you away, oh

don't wake me up, death is misleading
and when i fall asleep
sleep with a ghost

you will leave me in the morning

and each of us were golden
like sunset on my childhood curtains
the beige and the brown and the bronze on fire

with the stitches, no tag backs
and the red kool-aid mustache
we can race there and then back
just sodas and best friends

waging war on the ant's nest
and a card in your spokes clicks
like the buttons on a joy stick

and i loved it

so much to say
but nothing comes out right
both of us left without words
both of us lost in this world

to hold you now
it is a far cry
more than anything that i deserve

i'm waiting to give you whatever the world may bring
i'd give you my life cause i don't own anything
it seemed like the bottom was all that i had until now
i'd give you my life, if you'd give me yours somehow

the bank sign out my window
is laughing in my face

and it's another morning bike ride
in the fucking freezing rain

i showed up to work all bloodied up
still got all my teeth
and lately that's what's passing as lucky
at least with me

i heard a song on the radio
try to tell me i'm not alone
but i feel like it today

i keep thinking of ways to make it seem like an accident

i've got desperate desires and unadmirable plans
my tongue will taste the gin and malicious intent

you laugh at every word, trying hard to be cute
i almost feel sorry for what i'm gonna do

who will cast the first stone?
you can sin or spend the night all alone

i will lie awake
and lie for fun and fake the way i hold you
let you fall for every empty word i say

(this company's a joke, this job sucks, i'm out, big ups to my boy steven)

some things stick when you throw hard enough
but i don't

these old things make me

spent my winter in some old apartments
getting stoned and doing nothing
spent my summer in your parents' bedroom
watching casey make her own choices forever

promise if things go right
we can go back if you like

so it has to be just like you had imagined it'd be
with the rope in your one hand
rock in the other
swim for the shore

i don't belong here
and we don't belong here, so swim for the shore.

when you were outside
i was screaming your name through the radio

when you were gone
i forgot how to make anything at all